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Well, this next post comes with a slight bit of humility, as I apprehensively make public one of my biggest fears in going to Africa. I must say, this is not my largest source of anxiety, but I fear it none-the-less. This fear...is Siafu. Go ahead, take a google images search for Siafu and you will know what I'm talking about.

Now, it is not an enormous secret that I am afraid of ants. I don't like them. I don't like the idea of them. I think that for the most part, they are an unchecked, unbalanced group that will make the occasional appearance in children's books but that ultimately does exactly what they want. Let me ask you(the reader that I think may still be reading this but which I also realize may have left this site a while ago when they realized that Siafu was an ant and not the name of the next iceage) this question: What kind of creature is able to lift 10x more than it's body weight? (Just as a note, that's way more than Hollywood Hulk Hogan could lift in his prime, and just a tad more than David Girardot could lift in high school) What kind of organism can fly, and also spend a short amount of time actually surviving completely submerged under water? That's right, when you flush these babies down the toilet, they're not dead, in fact, at that point, they're probably planning their next attack on your favorite box of cereal, or maybe even your face. These are your everyday ants also, we haven't even gotten to Siafu yet.

Siafu are driver ants, and are found in eastern African nations such as Tanzania and the Congo. They don't have special toxins or stingers. They bite into you, then they never let go. This is like something straight out of a Hitchcock movie (Though I must profess that I don't think I've ever actually seen an entire Hitchcock movie. But I have seen clips from a movie of his about killer birds...that's weird stuff) Their bite has been paralleled with that of a pitbull. In Tanzania, they have been known to kill bugs yes, but also lions and even anteaters (if the anteaters aren't safe, we're all in for it). Legend has it that Siafu have even killed an elephant by crawling up it's trunk and then drilling into its brain. When these guys migrate (which they do by the millions (or at least by the hundreds of thousands)) African's refer to it as "Nature's Armageddon."

Now, I know what you're thinking. These facts are great, but come on now, they're just ants. It's this kind of dismissive thought that will lead to our downfall. It's the exact same attitude of ignorance and superiority that led to the Dust Bowl of the 1930's (I actually cannot substantiate this with any facts and I apologize to anyone who takes offense at this as the Dust Bowl really was a terrible time). As another addition to the abomination which is Siafu, I recently talked to my Aunt who spent two weeks in Tanzania. She informed me that in all her time there, she never even saw one ant. This, I'm sure, was intended to reassure me, but after some thought, I think the opposite may be true. After all, if these ants travel in packs by the millions, where are they? Shouldn't we at least be able to keep track of them? To think that somewhere, maybe right under my feet are a million ants with jaws like Tasmanian devils and appetites like John Candy (in the movie The Great Outdoors) is a disturbing thought.

As one final, brief note, I should mention that I understand the ecological importance of such creatures and am ultimately grateful for them. I would not have that God remove them, simply, that He would control their thoughts of making me part of their diet. Sleep tight, we're all in for it.