1.5

Let me first apologize for two reasons: 1) there is a blatant lack of consistency with the posting of messages. Im trying, sometimes though I just do not have access to the internet. 2) the postings of one, Justen Paris. The man is a mystery to me, I know that he is scared of me, but because Im not currently in the country, he thinks he can say whatever he wants. He is wrong though.

So I saw a dead cobra in the road the other day. Hmmm. Two days later I saw a moth the size of Allen County (the greatest county in Indiana, though our county emblem in Indianapolis is not as sweet as some of the other counties, but don't let this fool you)

I am aware that, for the most part, the bulk of my posts are somewhat superficial and rarely fail to crack the surface of thought and inquisition. This isn't by intention as much as just by the fact that I'm filled with questions (or what I feel may be questions) and cannot offer a lot of insight into answers or even developed thought at this point. It's like I've got this onion, and I'm trying to remove the skin to get at what's underneath, but the skin is jut endless, there's something keeping me from really getting at what I want to know, or even to ask.

I've been reading East of Eden as of late, and once I get passed the fact that the Chinese man reminds me of my college roommate at Hope and that the character Adam reminds me of a certain man I know named Adam, there is a theme that I wanted to ask about. Throughout the character interaction, there's this idea that the way we see people is not necessarily the way they really are, and that often, we simply see people how we want them to appear. If we want them to be good and perfect, we miss that they do wrong. If we want them to be bad, we let go of the good they do. Our underlying desire shapes them, more so even than truth. Im thinking about Africa. There is so much that I have seen, and so much that I want to see. There is so much that I want to know, I want to come to know God more. But how can I be certain that what I'm seeing is what's truly there? How do I, or you, know that what I am interpreting and coming to understand is honest, and not made up by me to confirm what I wanted to believe? I think this is a deeper question than I understand, perhaps even one that shouldn't be asked (are there questions that shouldn't be asked?)

I made a toilet cover out of banana leaves. It was awesome.